2022: A Year in Review

Reading time: 13 minutes

Themes: Submission, heart, fear

introduction

On September 20th of this year, Back Road One celebrated its first birthday. Admittedly, it feels relatively insignificant now, but I know intuitively through my own lived experience and that of other creators whom I surround myself with that building something from nothing follows a long arch of progress. I have a big vision for what I would like to one day see Back Road One become, and I know that this vision will continue to become more and more a part of my identity as it does so. As a creator, I view my creations as a part of me, but Back Road One is not me. Back Road One is one of many and, for now, the most important vehicle in which I can communicate that which my heart teaches me. My vision for this brand is to create a deep-seated community with authenticity at its core. Using my passion for photography and film, I want to create a brand that helps others show up more authentically. I want to tell stories that empower, inspire, and connect all who engage with them. In the future, Back Road One will be big enough to afford a team of others the same opportunity and make an even more significant impact on the world, but for now, I would like to take a moment and reflect on its humble beginnings. Today my story will be told through a lens of reflection. Each month of 2022 taught me something, and I would like to share what those lessons are.

I. January

Fear is almost never well-placed.

Music that impacted me: Purple Sun by Cannons

Literature that impacted me: Ambitious Heroes & Heartache by Rick Alexander

I began the first month of 2022 by flying to Redlands, California, and road-tripping home through four National Parks with one of my dearest friends, Brodie. I also began seriously training for my first half marathon in Fruita, Colorado. Running was a spontaneous and newfound hobby for me and, frankly, one I had resisted most of my life. The more I began to push my physical boundaries, the more I discovered a fire within myself, which helped me strengthen my resolve for upcoming life changes. One memory that stands out in my mind from January occurred perched high atop St. Mary’s Glacier with my younger brother Conner before we snowboarded back down. I expressed how I’d been stewing over the wild prospect of quitting my comfortable yet unfulfilling job to travel and pursue Back Road One full-time. I remember thinking how beautiful it would be and simultaneously overwhelmed by the crippling fear of leaving my current life behind. Yet, a small part of me clung to the idea, and I began to entertain the notion more. I didn’t realize at the time just how consequential that thought would be for my journey.

II. February

When your heart calls, listen closely.

Music that impacted me: Lady by Mako Road

Literature that impacted me: Wayward by Chris Burkard

I usually spend a lot of time making decisions; I’ve often considered myself a slow learner. Yahweh often has to slap me around repeatedly before I get the message. Interestingly, in hindsight, the interregnum between that conversation with Conner on top of that mountain in January and deciding to take action was very brief. One day, a book I had ordered and forgotten about back in July of 2021 showed up on my door (I’ve linked it above). Unsurprisingly, that book, in conjunction with the book I read in January, was precisely what I needed to read regarding the place I was in life. In just a few weeks, I went from inception to getting lunch with my dad (my employer) and explaining my decision to leave and pursue my dream. It was one of the first and only times I’ve ever felt my heart pull so firmly that the fear of not listening to it was more significant than the fear of the uncertainty it held. Additionally, I took a solo trip to one of my favorite places, Shelf Road, to journey inward with some mushrooms and ponder my decision. I emerged from that experience with total internal certainty and support.

iii. March

Our possessions are not ours, they’re gifts.

Music that impacted me: Growing Up is ___ by Ruel

Literature that impacted me: Mutant Message Down Under by Marlo Morgan

In March, I began settling into my decision, and I continued making big, consequential decisions in pursuit of it. I told my landlord I wouldn't renew my lease in June, which was deeply saddening as I was very fond of my loft and had built a beautiful space that truly felt like home. I began to develop a healthier perspective surrounding the grief that came with the sacrifices I had to make - I was giving up a life I loved in pursuit of a life I could be in love with. I had a comfortable sum of money in my bank account from the sale of my house, the unintentional first step towards my new path in life, which I would use to fund my travels and acquire new equipment that I needed. I bought a MacBook Pro, a second and lighter Sony mirrorless camera for my travels, a new drone, and some Peak Design gear. It was beginning to feel real. In March, Brodie also moved to Tennessee to begin a new life with his fiance, but not before spending a couple of adventurous weekends together, encouraging each other on our new journeys. Conner and I also had an incredibly magical day in the Never Summer Mountains doing much of the same.

iV. April

We don’t have to do things alone.

Music that impacted me: Zanzibar by Kamaliza

Literature that impacted me: The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer

April was an eventful month. A few factors led to my decision to leave in September rather than June as initially planned, and I had to be very intentional about pushing it back. I could see the temptation to forfeit the looming endeavor, given that I had more time to think about it, but I knew it would be the right move. The biggest reason I decided to leave later was to climb the sixteen peaks necessary to complete my goal of summiting all Colorado fourteeners. The clock was ticking. In April, I began dedicating a lot of time to content creation for Back Road One. I attempted a winter ascent of La Plata Peak with Conner and our friend Zach in the middle of the night. I led Conner up the first sport route I ever climbed outside in the Colorado Monument. I finished my first half marathon in under 2 hours and 15 minutes. I celebrated Brodie’s engagement at his bachelor party in Bozeman, where I met a retired photojournalist who gave me lots of advice and stories of his time doing exactly what I was about to do. In April, I unearthed an inner confidence that had been lying dormant for a long time, and it excited me intensely.

v. May

Being authentic often strays from the mainstream.

Music that impacted me: Give Me The Rain by Palace

Literature that impacted me: Of Wolves and Men by Barry Lopez

Admittedly, I inherently favor May as it is my birthday month. Early in the month, I had the privilege of attending Brodie and Kyler’s wedding in Texas. I began to realize how important it is to surround ourselves with people who uplift and encourage us, as the people in their circle often embody the same values. We can inadvertently find ourselves in a group of people who give us consistent love and support. That’s precisely what I found amongst Brodie and Kyler’s friends and family for a weekend. I spent a lot of time experimenting with different ideas for Back Road One, each invoking a response from my heart that let me know I was either hitting the mark for my authentic vision or distracting from it. I began to confront the dichotomy many creators face in our modern times: creating content for platforms that favor trendy, short-form content while remaining authentic. How do you tell a captivating story in 30 second Instagram Reel or TikTok? How do you grow a profound movement in which you believe without sacrificing your authenticity to gain followers and likes? Is it even possible to do it? At the end of the day, I learned to rely on intuition rather than doubt and pressed on.

vi. June

Love deeper and take nothing for granted.

Music that impacted me: Wide Awake by ODESZA

Content that impacted me: Charlie Walker on The Joe Rogan Experience

June began with a weekend trip to Gunnison and Crested Butte with my dear friend Nate. We explored Black Canyon, making it my third time there, but the first time I got to explore by foot. Summer had arrived, and it was crunch time in regard to fourteeners. I had completed my first of the year, Mt. Wilson, a week prior with my friend Christian leaving fifteen more to complete before September. The time came to move out of my beloved loft, and when I did, I had my sights set firmly on the beauty of what was to come rather than the grief of what I was leaving behind. In mid-June, my brother Chandler, my nephew Wesley, and I were bouldering at Alderfer/Three Sisters Park when we received a call that my father was about to be airlifted to a hospital in Golden following some severe and sudden heart problems. I was scared yet confident that he would pull through despite being unable to see him until post-surgery due to covid protocol. Luckily he pulled through the dire condition he’d found himself in, and we reconvened that evening with profound gratitude from all members of my family. It served as a good reminder of the fragility of life and the importance of taking nothing for granted.

vii. July

Our inner circle of people should be prioritized.

Music that impacted me: PATTERNS by NASAYA

Literature that impacted me: The Invention of Nature by Andrea Wulf

In the second half of June, I bagged a few more fourteeners, including two of my favorites: Mt. Lindsey and Little Bear Peak, the latter being Christian’s finishing peak. On July 1, my friend Brad and I embarked on a 16-hour road trip from Denver to Nashville to spend Independence Day with Brodie and Kyler now that they had settled into their new home. It was an extraordinary and simultaneously exhausting trip considering we completed the drive there and back in two single pushes. We spent our days canoeing on the Piney River, sharing meals with friends, and drinking too much whiskey. Shortly after returning to Denver and vowing never to drive 16 consecutive hours on two hours of sleep again, I got to join Conner and his girlfriend Sydni at the City Gates concert featuring some of our favorite artists such as Goth Babe, Cautious Clay, and Still Woozy. In the remaining weeks of July, I completed five more peaks, including my redemption of La Plata Peak, Mt. Harvard to Mt. Columbia traverse, Mt. Elbert, and Mt. Massive back-to-back. I was gifted with some extraordinary experiences in nature in July and felt that I was connecting more profoundly to myself by the day.

viii. August

Do things that set your heart on fire.

Music that impacted me: Drifting In Out of Time by The Hip Abduction

Content that impacted me: Episode 80 of Huberman Lab

In the span of 48 hours, I summitted my first fourteener entirely in the dark, Missouri Mountain, went to a Hip Abduction concert with Conner, and climbed up to an alpine lake with Nate and his dog Rusty. Needless to say, I was exhausted yet utterly grateful for the experiences that embodied my last month in Colorado - at least for a while. I climbed Pyramid Peak solo, which turned out to be one of the most memorable mornings of my entire life. I’ll never forget the sunrise waiting for me above the arduous class 4 gully that exited Pyramid's amphitheater. August also contained a day that is permanently burned in my psyche as a result of a brush I had with death on The Crestones. I emerged a little shaken but safe, with only two peaks remaining. By this point, my departure to Latin America was knocking on my door - just weeks away. I held space for all the emotions I felt: sincere excitement associated with being in proper alignment with my heart, fear of the unknown and uncertainty, and sadness for the loved ones I would be apart from for a while.

ix. September

Absolutely nothing is impossible.

Music that impacted me: How Long by Bag Raiders

Content that impacted me: Dr. Gabor Mate on The Joe Rogan Experience

The morning of September 2, three weeks before I left Colorado, I stepped onto my finishing summit with Conner: Longs Peak. A goal I had been working at for many years concluded before me. Anyone who has climbed this peak knows just how arduous it is. Despite the bliss of completing such a monumental task, I couldn’t keep myself awake and ended up napping on the summit until the sun finally came up. Conner and I celebrated with whiskey shots and champagne before descending back to our car in a delirious yet euphoric stoop. I’d done it. I had never felt so capable in my entire life, and it’s safe to say that notion will remain with me for the rest of my life. After returning home around 11:00, pounding some Chick-fil-A, and napping for two hours, we set off to meet my dear friend Kevin for a celebratory weekend on the Western Slope. Luckily my pounding headache subsided, I got a good night’s sleep in my truck on the side of Kebbler Pass, and what followed was one of the most memorable weekends of my life with Kevin and Conner. I concluded my time in Colorado with my second ODESZA concert and some time with loved ones at our family cabin.

x. October

True self-confidence is only found in the heart.

Music that impacted me: Sleep Deprivation by Chance Peña

Literature that impacted me: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Before I arrived in Costa Rica, I spent a much-needed few days with my older brother Chandler who had recently relocated to Las Vegas. We spent every moment of our time together, climbing in Red Rock, canyoneering in Zion National Park, and boating on Lake Meade. It was exactly what I needed before embarking on my travels, and I’m so grateful for our time together. I underwent a lot of growth in my first month abroad, which I detailed extensively in my South America, Mo. 1 entry. Most of it was uncomfortable, yet I remained deeply content and joyous as I understood that I was shedding old skin and stepping into who I was supposed to become. The refinement process may sometimes hurt, but the result is always more well-rounded and polished, having undergone the forging process. As I detailed in my travelogue linked above, I re-read The Alchemist during my first month, as was a tradition from my previous extended travels. For the first time, I felt I was living out the plot of the protagonist on my own Hero’s Journey. What a marvelous feeling. Undoubtedly, I was already positively and permanently different by the end of October and incredibly excited for what lay ahead of me.

xi. November

Every experience can teach us something.

Music that impacted me: Desert Trip by nic and reuben

Literature that impacted me: Lighter by Yung Pueblo

November was such a pivotal month for me, and, as with October, I’ve written a travelogue detailing why here. In stark contrast to the way I felt in October, day by day, I was beginning to feel at home abroad for the first time. I’ve traveled extensively in Europe and elsewhere and never felt the comfort, groundedness, and overall joy of living in Colorado - until my second month in South America. November was also a challenging month for me emotionally. I had to deal with many old trauma responses, ones I thought I’d annihilated long ago, poking their heads back into my life. I was dreaming extremely vividly, and the messages were landing crystal clear. As with all other things that feel rather difficult, they turned out to be largely beneficial and necessary for my evolution which I realized very quickly. I felt immense gratitude for the things I was experiencing, which were genuinely once-in-a-lifetime. I was constantly pinching myself as I explored Chile, Argentina, and Peru. My Spanish continued to improve to the point where conversations flowed more effortlessly, and overall I felt a general sense of being where I belonged.

xii. December

All that matters is the present moment.

Music that impacted me: Medicine by Lucas Estrada

Literature that impacted me: The Myth of Normal by Dr. Gabor Mate

December was my last month abroad, the details of which are written about here. Month three continued to be just as powerful, in a completely different way, than months one and two. I spent the first couple weeks of December in my home away from home: Nosara, Costa Rica. For the first time in recent memory, I had two solid weeks in paradise, with nothing to do but be present. My heart repeatedly reminded me to lean into the position of life that I had found myself in and savor every moment. Luckily, it was almost impossible not to do so in a place like Nosara. I spent almost every day surfing, eating good food, watching the sunsets, and enjoying time with friends. After I left Costa Rica for the second time, I flew to Todos Santos, Mexico, to spend my last week with my sister and brother-in-law, who were living there for the month. Our first few days embodied much of the same presence and grounded-ness I had just come from in yet another new culture. I felt confident beyond belief, and it showed. Unfortunately, a few days before I left, I got into a severe surfing accident which scored me an ambulance ride to the hospital and a grapefruit-sized hematoma in my quad - what a way to end the year. Weirdly, I’m grateful for the lessons that accident has taught me as well.

Conclusion

I’m emerging from 2022 as a changed man and feel utterly prepared to tackle the new year with grace and ambition. If I can summarize the theme of 2022 for me in a word, it would be submission. Submission can often feel, especially to Western cultures that ubiquitously embody a sense of independence, as passive or counterintuitive. How, after all, can we progress if we’re not taking life by the horns and controlling as much of it as we can? This is certainly how I thought of the world before this rollercoaster of a year. I’ve emerged from this year ready to implement a newfound attitude of submission. On my personal journey, I’ve found the most profound healing and peace the more I’ve relinquished control and allowed Yahweh to guide me where it knew I needed. I now revere my journey and continually shine gratitude on where I am currently - not in the future or the past. To all of those who have contributed to my progression - thank you. No man is an island, and I couldn’t be more grateful for the vast network of individuals who consistently pour love and support into my life. You all inspire me every day. Thank you for reading, and much love.